Tony at the Red Line Tap.

“Hey, Mr. Red Shirt. What’s goin’ on? Shana Tova.”

I grabbed a stool. “Marty. Let me have a Lurago Marinone.  Shana Tova back at youMan. This retirement job keeps me busier than when I was working,” I said. “I was over by a school this morning. But no rallies this afternoon. Folks are looking at the deal.”

“Good thing,” says Tony. “Gotta check out those contracts carefully.”

“What do you know about contracts, Tony? Don’t you need to have a job to sign a contract?”

“Point taken. But I go by what my cousin BeBe always said.”

“Your cousin BeBe?”

“Yeh. BeBe. The car salesman. Cousin BeBe always said, ‘You can’t sell a piece a crap to a guy who reads the contract.’ And BeBe knows what he’s talking about. He started in the business selling Yugos. And let me tell you, he had a ton of salesman of the month plaques hanging in his office. He even sold several of the Yugos to some Chicago aldermen.”

“Funny you should mention that,” I said. “Since these are the same guys who want the teachers to go back without reading their contract.”

“Oh sure,” said Tony. “Those guys wouldn’t know what a piece of city legislation said unless it was on audio. Reading isn’t exactly their specialty. Take that hipster dude.”

“The hipster dude?”

“Oh yes. They call him the hipster alderman. Whatshisname? What do they call him? Proco Moreno? Over in the First Ward. That was the guy who didn’t know you couldn’t stop that chicken store from opening just because the owner was a stupid southern cracker who didn’t like the Gays. I don’t think young Proco cares so much about the Gays either, except he’s got them as voters in his ward. As soon as the lawyers read the law to him, since apparently the hipster alderman doesn’t read so well himself, we haven’t heard a peep about his deep and profound concern for human rights. Now he’s mouthing off about the teachers.”

“And he’s one of the alderman yelling at the teachers to go back to work without reading their contract.”

“Sure. But check his garage. I think he’s still driving one of cousin BeBe’s Yugos.”

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