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Mark Stefanik. I’m sorry.

April 1, 2014


Mark Stefanik is a middle school Language Arts teacher and frequent contributor to this blog.

I am so sorry for all of the name-calling that I’ve promoted and enjoyed on this blog site.

I regret surrendering to my wicked Irish tongue.

In the future, I will write to collaborate, not excoriate.

I have learned a fundamental truth: elected representation, whether union leadership or statehouse membership, is a Higher Power that demands my respect.

Therefore, who am I to challenge the vision of our union shepherds like Haismann, Swanson, and Klickna? Are they not the distillation of our electoral wisdom?

And, maybe just maybe, haven’t Governor Quinn, Senator Biss, Representative Gabel, and Mayor Emmanuel, public servants all, seen things we cannot see?

You know we could look back, years from now, and say their vision saved Illinois.

It’s possible.

So on this day, of all days, I want to apologize. I want to take back some of the venom.

I want to retract, concede, submit.

I’d like to close with a very incomplete list of specific apologies.

Sorry, Governor Quinn, for laughing at all of Fred’s Gov. Squeezy artwork. Sorry for thinking about rhymes like sleazy and corporate appeazy.

Sorry, Senator Biss, for all of my sophomoric manipulations of your name like Bisstake and Biss of Death. Sorry about Biss my Bass, too. I have anger issues.

Sorry, Robyn Gabel, for changing your name to Robbin’ because of your pension theft votes.

Sorry, Presidents Haismann, Swanson, and Klickna for thinking that you were arrogant and out-of-touch.   Perhaps, the future will show you were like the 3 Kings of the Orient, following that star to our saviors in Springfield.

Enjoy the new month.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Elma permalink
    April 1, 2014 9:34 am

    Who doesn’t love a good April Fool’s joke?????!!!???

  2. April 1, 2014 9:44 am

    Satire is fine with me

  3. Mary Katherine permalink
    April 1, 2014 1:49 pm

    Would love bumper stickers with the above. Biss my Bass is my favorite!

  4. April 1, 2014 3:54 pm

    “shared sacrifice” equals zombie idea! And I would never apologize to Haisman, Swanson or Klickna; they are part of the problem and earned a great salary letting the problem happen!

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