“Who are you? Where’s Marty?”
“I’m Sean. Marty quit.”
“Quit? How come?”
“She got hired to host a show on a public access channel in some town in Iowa. It is going to be like Check Please! Different people reviewing restaurants.”
“In a small town in Iowa? How many restaurants can there be?”
“I told her that. But she said that it’s a local public access show. Nobody watches anyway. They may just do the Hardy’s on different nights and feature the rotating specials.”
“Sean,” I said.
“What?”
“Go get me a Närke Kaggen Stormaktsporter.”
“Got one cold in the back,” Sean said.
“Kid goes to Loyola,” Tony said. “Got more rings than Barnum and Bailey.”
“And what’s that thing going up his arm?” I asked.
“Ah! I asked him that very same question. He said it is a graphic representation of the Kama Sutra on his left arm and the Koka Shastra on his right.”
I looked at Tony. Tony looked at me. We nodded like two bobble-head give-aways at Wrigley.
“So. You have any thoughts on Quinn picking Vallas?” I queried.
Tony sighed as if he were in the self-check out lane at the Jewels behind a guy with a cart load of day-old donuts.
“It reminds me of my cousin Bailey.”
“And how does it remind you of Bailey?” – who I know because he always shows up uninvited at our annual holiday party and stands over the Kielbasa plate with a fork like the whole thing is a single-serving.
“Because Bailey is a Chicago precinct captain and alleged city employee. The guy has had more city jobs than the entire population of Sauganash. He screws up every job he gets, but they just bring him back somewhere else.”
“You’re right,” I said. “Vallas reminds me of your cousin Bailey.”
Fred Klonsky 
And they both want to steal the kishka!!!!