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– The Blue State Cowboys (Matt Farmer)
Plutocrat (The Ballad of Bruce Rauner)
VERSE 1
Some rich guys buy fancy cars
Some spend their money on old guitars
Some go in for private planes and boats
Well, I like houses — I own nine
And I drink $6000 wine
And I’m tryin’ hard to buy your November votes
Yeah, my wristwatch cost me eighteen bucks
I wear Carhartt clothes when I hunt for ducks
And I even drive around in a beat-up van
But I’m a straight-up, blood-suckin’ billionaire
Who hates payin’ taxes for Medicare
And I bank in the Cayman Islands anytime I can
CHORUS
So, Springfield, get out the welcome mat
What this state needs is a plutocrat
A slashin’, burnin’, union-bustin’ guy
I’ll hammer and shake that capitol dome
Like it’s a grandma stuck in a nursing home
Hey, grandma, it’s time to say goodbye
VERSE 2
Well, I’m mighty proud of one thing I did
Tryin’ to educate my suburban kid
I had Arne Duncan lend me a helping hand
He took my call without hesitatin’
Then my kid got a spot at Walter Payton
And I gave that school 250 grand
I want charter schools in every town
where the kids are poor and black or brown
You know I’ve even got a school named after me
And I could have sent my own kid there
But I’m a wealthy man, and it’s only fair
That her school be largely white and bourgeoisie
REPEAT CHORUS
VERSE 3
Now I know it’s become the latest craze
But I try not to talk about marryin’ gays
Social issues bring my numbers down
Same is true for reproductive rights
I don’t want to pick any needless fights
I’ll be a blank slate until I win that crown
I’ve got my own economic plan
But like H.G. Wells’ “Invisible Man”
The details . . . well, they’re mighty hard to see
And I do my best to avoid the stage
If they want me to talk about the minimum wage
‘Cause I’d rather have those people work for free
REPEAT CHORUS x2
Well done, Matt Farmer !
Highly effective…got to the early polls, and voted against the above Plutocrat (brought my “clothespin” along…)